nice, i slept 12 hours last night.i dunno why i was so tired too, but i slept and slept and slept.. nice.. and it was really good that i only woke up 3 times, out of which 2 was when my sleep was in REM mode and only once in the NREM mode.. den i spent 1 hour watching mtv on tv.. boring isn't it? i wanted to go out yesterday to get some stuffs, but after putting it off, i realised they weren't of great importance so i decided to put it off even more.. haha.. it's lady gaga with her paparazzi now.. her mtvs are quite funny lol..

finally the whole week of the physiology training has ended, but with mixed feelings. why? cuz despite attending 4 out of 5 days, i can't sit for the exam, and i can't get the cert. means i'll have to do a make up in another 2 month's time. damn, by then i would probably have forgotten most of the things i've learnt.. and it's kinda surprising how i can keep wide awake for tuesday and wednesday, and doze off the whole day for thursday and friday.. hahaa.. had the ejection seat trainer this morning, actually it's not as scary as i thought.. maybe cuz it's being delivered at 1/4 of the actual ejection force? and contrary to wad i've always believed, the ejection seat these days don't shorten the spine like it used to.. and there are pple who have ejected a few times and are still in fighters..

this week felt like a holiday, and next week will be the mad rush to complete the topic on meteorology. sigh.

i'm slowly getting used to all these.. all these "socializing" and "bonding" with my army friends which i never felt was important in the past 1 year of my army life.. hmm, not exactly unimportant i would say, i mean i wouldn't mind doing it once in awhile, but nowadays i'm having to do it so often, it becomes a part of me..

he asked, "so tmr nights out go where?"
i said, "go home la, i live so near"
he said, "GO HOME?! so boring, go watch movie la"
i said, "huh.. watch wad?"
he said, "ice age"
i said, "anything lor......"
he said, "ok set"

actually i kinda retreated after i saw his expression when i said i wanted to go home..


well well, one new lesson i've learnt, never play soccer when you've just recovered from fever like a day ago, cuz much of ur respiratory system is still down! i gotta learn it the hard way, and i swear i almost fainted while playing, even though i only played for 30 mins..

today, tmr and thursday, 8 hours of lecture.. how orgasmic.. i really wished i'd paid more attention during physics lessons in my secondary school days.. F= M A, hahaha! all of newton's law, i need to recall.. but i can tell u wad's murphy's law!! what can go wrong, will go wrong! =P

also, was taught all the dangers of ejection, fuck, i hope i'd never have to eject in my life!

perhaps this should be the full stop, and not the "......" that always continues lol

sigh, i'm disappointed in myself, nearly got into an argument playing street soccer last night..
lol, this bunch of idiots.. first of all we played with this team of 5, 3 of them quite skilled, 2 not so skilled.. and my team mate chipped a ball for me, i ran, their keeper tackled their defender, and i scored..

guess wad the keeper said? "eh, fair play, fair play, not counted.."
i said "wtf? u go tackle ur team mate den not counted?" but i say shuang only, cuz i also dont care, dont count den dont count lah.. den after that the same idiot swapped position with his fren, and in his half of the court, he passed the ball to the side and ran towards me and banged into me with his elbows lifted. i had to take a few steps back to absorb the impact..

no prizes for guessing my reaction.... "OOI WTF?" and walked up to him.. i could hear my frens who were playing in the next team shouting "eh relax relax" and the idiots' reply? "wad? momentum wad.." den i said "momentum lift up elbow one ah? fuck you lah" den i turned and continued playing in the complete "asshole" mode.. hard tackles everywhere..

eventually i played till 915pm before i headed up to my bunk to shower and study for today's exam.. yea baby, 88%! nice.

my knee is hurting again, but i gotta say it's been an improvement from previous times.. maybe cuz of the supplements i've been taking.. hahaha i feel so artificial.. fish oil, protein, creatine, glucosamine.. bahhhhhh

next topic, meteorology.. gonna take today as a break, or it's gonna end up in a burnout..




anyway, finally had my start of course interview today, which was more like a sharing session by A. H.. "women and wine dont mix" well said. it was really funny how he told us pple go to phillipines for detachment and end up marrying a girl known from the bars, and nobody dares to turn up for the wedding because many others have slept with the girl before.

"you guys need to get used to the emotional detachment, relationships cannot be forgotten, they need to be replaced.. spend less time with ur family members in the last 4-6 weeks and more time together, so u guys will know each other's strengths, which will help u overseas.."

"our human mind works like that, the more u try to forget something, the more u can't do it. e.g. do not think about the dancing monkey."

g and me in unison "wad's a dancing monkey?"

"see, i just told u not to think about it and the first thing u do is to think about it. assholes right u all.."




hahah, he certainly is smarter than we thought, all of us thought he only knows how to "carry", if u get wad i mean..

lol, i have 3 coursemates, 1 is busy at the moment, which leaves the 2 of us.. and another 4 who are awaiting course.. so both of us stayed in for a couple of days already, and we're getting along fine.. i can't help but to reflect about myself.. somehow i dont seem "up" enough..
while i'm online, he's studying..
when i want to slack, he wants to go to the gym, and i feel bad turning him down, so we go to the gym..
and when i thought i could slack the morning off, he was persuading everyone to do the ASSET test..

hahaaha it's only the 3rd day, and i feel so tired. how?

lol, i failed my bike test for the 3rd time, fucking hell, was soooooo cautious my bike didnt even go up the plank.. hahaha.. damn loser sia, the last time when i came off the plank was about a month ago, when i had my first lesson in a long long time.. anyway, i've closed off the account cuz i dont see any chances of taking it in the near future again..

sometimes in life, the harder u try not to screw up, the more u screw it up. god dammit.

am i cursed? am i a jinx? why is it that during the first week of service term, my roommate's grandpa passed away, and now that i'm officially starting course for my professional term, with another roommate, his mum passed away.. i dread to think wad will happen to my roommate for my next course..

i must say, although i haven't known j y for a long time, it's just around half a year, but we've been through much together.. the days we spent together in australia, 3 of us looking out for each other, helping one another along to pass the course.. he may be putting up a strong front on the phone, telling me wad messages he needs me to pass on and things like that, but from the back of it all, i could hear his voice shaking..
i texted him online, giving a little encouragement, and when i told him to come back and earn the wings for his mum, i broke down and my tears flowed.. i think maybe it's the stress i feel, even though i'm still on the ground, at the comfort of my own home..

do u know the feeling of exam's next week, and u know nuts about the topic, and there's too much for u to cover.. i would say, my examination topic is something i'd probably take 1 semester or even more to cover in my poly days, and i get exactly the same feeling i have for cost accounting, which i scrapped thru with a D.. i can't see myself doing it for the next 10 weeks or so, but it's already too late to back off..

there are so many things which i wanted to say, but somehow i just cant bring myself to press the send button..

i really hope i can cope with all these.. am i stepping into shoes that are too big for me?

just got back from my final bike prac for a long long time to come.. seriously i think i should be able to pass this time round, but it all depends on the testers tmr.. haha, tag number 49.. i'm still in the "younger half" considering the fact that there are 90 candidates..

tmr's gonna be a hectic day.. down to bukit batok den back home to wash up and off to camp, following that it's gonna be down to katong area for some tailoring of no.2 and no.5 uniforms, den it's back to camp for the night.. how the hell am i going to pass my exam on friday, when all i've read is 30 pages of the book so far?

20 kgs of books, 1 book per week. is that even possible? lol, i think it's really a test of human performance and limitations...

seriously..

anyway, tentative date for departure will be 22 october, somehow so many of these dates are associated on the 22nd, and on the night of 21st, i'll cock up on something.. haha.. take december for instance.. everything changed since then..

phew, i seriously need to go shop at popular, get a few notebooks and more pens and markers.. it's time to hit the books.. looking at the mess in my room, i doubt i'll have time to pack it for the time being..

it sucks to know that i might be wasting about 1k sgd worth of leave, cuz i didn't take enough when i was free, now might not have chance to clear already, it's gonna be wasted. damn.

nights out for french classes seems like a good idea, as i've always said, "in life, u have to fight for wad u want.."

jonathan's giving me a lift to work tmr, yea baby! hahaha.. anyway it's medical checkup in the morning, fuck man i'm seriously scared of the colour test..

hahaha, i can't believe it, we're all assholes..

see this convo i have with my colleague.


g says:
who is our course ic

yw says:
dunno leh

g says:
who is most senior.

yw says:
u lor
lol
u earlier batch
haha
nice

g says:
i 2 stripes

yw says:
eh

g says:
i heard i cannot become full lta until AFST

yw says:
now in blue already nv play rank one, play seniority.. haha understand, ic?
=p

g says:
t say appoint j y as IC.

yw says:
sounds good to me

g says:
so he do training programme.



haha, now u see why we were trying so hard not to take up the IC appointment?

ooh. am i too tired? i don't know about that, but i know i'm getting too fat.

haha, went to the gym for the first time in months, and when i put on the singlet, damn, my flabby stomach is really a turn off.. nvm, i'll work and get back into shape..

i dont know why, today was pretty uneventful, but it feel really tired.. it's been a long time since i've slouched in uniform, and when i walked it was really sloppy too.. maybe cuz it's another day lost?

hmm, 2 late nights and i'm feeling the fatigue.. i would choose to think that it's because there have been a lot of issues in my life, and i need to sort things out before it goes out of hand.. damn, there were so many things running thru my head at a point until it felt like it would burst.. i think i should probably go "old school" and bring along a diary wherever i go, so i could jot down the things i've been thinking about and get it off my tiny little brain.. it's taking hell of alot of my personal bandwidth..

tsktsk, it's surprising to me that i've interacted with him less 10 times, but we could sit thru the night talking and it went on well. i like his frankness, especially when he said "i disagree" in front of my face.. it's truly difficult to find such strong characters around these days.

well, i have a question i really wanna know the answer to. sad to say, the person who can provide the answer is none other than myself. it's a little sensitive cuz part of it links to the job i'm doing, and it's not safe to be blogging about it.

our favourite phrase to others is to "go sort it out" but sometimes, we have to sort ourselves out before we can actually go about doing that..

it's good to have dreams, and they say "dreams are what u subconsciously think about." so, does it mean there will be situations in which dreams actually come true?

reminder to myself, i need to stop sms-ing when i'm asleep/ half asleep, i tend to give replies that are truthful and what i want to say, rather than what the situation requires me to say, or rather, not to say. haha. tongue twister?

oooooh. forgot to mention that my long lasting relation with "freedom" is about to come to an end pretty soon, e-learning's starting on the 13th, and it only means 2 things.
first, it's gonna be stay-in for me.
second, i'll be departing soon, dunno when yet.


can't they get a better timing? like a few months ago or a few months later? i've got some "subscriptions" i need to settle so i won't be getting anymore issues.